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The line graph below shows the number of people in Great Britain living alone by age from 1996 to 2012

The line graph below shows the number of people in Great Britain living alone by age from 1996 to 2012 eEPMW
The given line graph displays information regarding the population of different age groups that were living independently in the UK in 16 years. As is obvious, less than 0. 5 million of youngsters (16 to 24) lived by their own, the line was almost flatten in this 9 years. Furthermore, the number of people from 45-64 and 25-44 were same almost 1. 6 millions from 1996 to 1998. However, after 1998, more English people aged 45 to 64 preferred to live alone than younger one. Their population increased significantly close to 2. 5 millions in 2012. The rate of age 25-44 went up gradually until 2004 then it faced with a remarkable decrease 1. 6 millions in 2012. Moreover, ages over 75 'the oldest group' had experienced slight fluctuations from 1996 to 2012, 1. 8 millions and 2 millions respectively. Further, age group between 65 to 74 year had not undergone a lot of change in this period. Overall, the provided data shows the  number of various age groups those lived single. The lowest population was for the youngest group which had not changed much. By contrast, after 2004, most Britains between 45 and 64 spent their life in loneliness.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph displays information regarding the population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
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groups
that were living
independently
in the UK in 16 years.

As is obvious, less than 0. 5
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million
of youngsters (16 to 24)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, the line was almost flatten in this 9 years.
Furthermore
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 45-64 and 25-44 were same almost 1. 6
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millions
from 1996 to 1998.
However
, after 1998, more English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 45 to 64 preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone than younger one. Their population increased
significantly
close to 2. 5
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millions
in 2012.

The rate of
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age
25-44 went up
gradually
until 2004 then it faced with a remarkable decrease 1. 6
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millions
in 2012.
Moreover
,
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ages
over 75 'the oldest group' had experienced slight fluctuations from 1996 to 2012, 1. 8
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millions
and 2
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millions
respectively
.
Further
,
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age
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group
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 65 and 74".
between 65 to 74
year had not undergone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in this period.

Overall
, the provided data
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shows
the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
number of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
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groups
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
single. The lowest population was for the youngest
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group
which had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
much. By contrast, after 2004, most
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Britains
between 45 and 64 spent their life in loneliness.
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the number of people in Great Britain living alone by age from 1996 to 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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