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The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.

The line graph indicates a survey on how many abroad residents visited Australia every year, and also, the table compares the number of tourists in each country between 1975 and 2005. It is clear that the trend is up-ward, and highest tourists who came to Australia belonged to japan, while, the lowest one appertained to china. In 1975, all of the tourists that visited there was 8. 8 millions and furthermore, the majority of them appertained to South Korea that was almost 2. 9 millions and china saw the minimum tourists that was close to 0. 3 millions. According to the line graph, the figures for visitors increased noticeably over the period of 30 years. In 2005, attracted the numerous tourists that was similar to 1975, however the total of visitors was different with each other.
The line graph indicates a survey on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
abroad residents visited Australia every year, and
also
, the table compares the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in each country between 1975 and 2005. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the trend is up-ward, and highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who came to Australia belonged to
This noun needs to be capitalized if you mean the country “Japan”.
japan
, while, the lowest one appertained to
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
.

In 1975,
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
that visited there was 8. 8 millions and
furthermore
, the majority of them appertained to South Korea that was almost 2. 9 millions and china
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
that was close to 0. 3 millions.

According to the line graph, the figures for visitors increased
noticeably
over the period of 30 years. In 2005, attracted the numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
that was similar to 1975,
however
the total of visitors was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with each other.
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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