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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian households. The second chart show the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The given pie charts illustrate proportion of energy usage and greenhouse gas emissions by Australian households. Overall, It is clear that by far heating is the most energy usage by Australian households, While the highest proportion of greenhouse gas emissions came from water heating. Looking at the information in more detail, we can see almost 42% of energy used by households for heating, and heating had third amounts of energy usage with 30%. In contrast, refrigeration, lighting and cooling were the least percentage energy usage with 7%, 4% and only 2% respectively by Australian people. 32% of greenhouse gas produced from water heating, these figures were well-over twice as high as other sources of gas. Heating was the second source of greenhouse gas production by almost 15%, and also refrigeration and lighting were saw produced by far the lowest amount of gas, and also cooling was the least greenhouse gas production.
The
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given
pie charts illustrate proportion of
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energy
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usage
and
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greenhouse
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gas
emissions by Australian households.

Overall
, It is
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clear
that by far
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heating
is the most
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
by Australian households, While the highest proportion of
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emissions came from water heating.

Looking at the information in more detail, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
almost 42% of
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by households for
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heating
, and
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heating
had third amounts of
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energy
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usage
with 30%.
In contrast
, refrigeration, lighting and cooling were the least percentage
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
with 7%, 4% and
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only
2%
respectively
by Australian
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people
.

32% of
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greenhouse
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gas
produced from water
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heating
, these figures were well-over twice as high as other sources of
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gas
.
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Heating
was the second source of
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
production by almost 15%, and
also
refrigeration and lighting were
Consider using either the past participle “sawed”, “sawn”, “seen” or the present participle “sawing”, “seeing” here.
saw
produced by far the lowest amount of
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gas
, and
also
cooling was the least
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
production.
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IELTS academic The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian households. The second chart show the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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