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The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph demonstrates the use of Margarine spread, Low fat & reduced spread and butter between a period of 1981 and 2007. The unit of measure is grams. Overall, the consumption of all 3 spreads fluctuated over the period of time however, approaching the end of 2007 the consumption has reduced drastically. In 1981 butter usage was 140 grams and was the highest consumed spread till mid 1980's by reaching approximately 160 grams. The use of butter reduced dramatically by almost 100 grams during 2007. Low fat & reduced spread was introduced in 1996 with less than 20 grams consumption rate. Meanwhile the rate of usage raised steadily to reach above 80 grams in the next 5 years. Although the low fat spread usage had seen a raise it went down by 20 grams in 2007. Margarine which was the second highest consumed spread in 1981 started off with 90 grams consumption and saw a downward trend till 1986 by reduction of 10 grams usage. However, margarine usage raised to reach 100 grams in 1991 and was stead till 1996. Again the curve dropped by 60 grams in 2007.
The line graph demonstrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Margarine
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spread
, Low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
&
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reduced
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spread
and butter between a period of 1981 and 2007. The unit of measure is grams.

Overall
, the
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consumption
of all 3
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spreads
fluctuated over the period of time
however
, approaching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2007 the
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consumption
has
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reduced
drastically
.

In 1981 butter
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usage
was 140
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grams
and was the highest consumed
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spread
till mid
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “1980s”.
1980's
by reaching approximately 160
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grams
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of butter
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reduced
dramatically
by almost 100
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grams
during 2007. Low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
was introduced
in 1996 with less than 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
rate.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the rate of
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usage
raised
steadily
to reach above 80
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grams
in the
next
5 years.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
the low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
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usage
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a raise it went down by 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.

Margarine which was the second highest consumed
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spread
in 1981
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a downward trend till 1986 by reduction of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
.
However
, margarine
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usage
raised to reach 100
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grams
in 1991 and was stead till 1996. Again the curve dropped by 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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