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Illustrate the following graph which shows the vaccine taker number in different countries of asia in different year

The graph provides information on the number of vaccine taker in several years in three different countries( Bangladesh, India, China). In the graph we find that the number of vaccine taker increase in each county between 2004 to 2020. However china is dramatically increase to the end of the period but at the beginning they experience downtrend though. In 2004 the number of vaccine taker people is nearly 100000 in china. On the other hand, india and Bangladesh both has experience downtrend and the vaccine taker number is almost 900000 and 800000 respectively. The following year, china and India have the number of vaccine taker is increased to around 120000 and 150000. But in contrast Bangladesh is decreased to under 500000 in 2008. Suddenly the vaccine taker number is dropped and reach to almost 100000 in India. And also other two country of the taker of vaccine is grow up and reach to approximately 200000 and 100000( china and Bangladesh respectively). The next two years we can see the vaccine taker number is increased in three countries. Vaccine taker is got the peak up position almost 500000 in 2020 in china which is highest number of the vaccine taker throughout the graph. India and Bangladesh vaccine taker number is also raised and reached at 400000 and around 39000 in 2020
The graph provides information on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
taker in several years in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
Bangladesh, India, China).

In the graph we find that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
taker increase in each county
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 2004 to 2020
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
china is
dramatically
increase to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the beginning they experience downtrend though.

In 2004 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
taker
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
is
nearly
100000 in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
.
On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
and Bangladesh both has experience downtrend and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
taker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is almost 900000 and 800000
respectively
. The following year, china and India have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
taker
is increased
to around 120000 and 150000.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in contrast
Bangladesh
is decreased
to under 500000 in 2008.
Suddenly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
taker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is dropped
and reach to almost 100000 in India. And
also
other two country of the taker of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
is
Consider using either the past participle “grown” or the present participle “growing” here.
grow
up and reach to approximately 200000 and 100000
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
china and Bangladesh
respectively
). The
next
two years we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
taker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is increased
in three countries.
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Vaccine
taker is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the peak up position almost 500000 in 2020 in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
which is
A determiner is probably missing here: “the highest”.
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the
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vaccine
taker throughout the graph. India and Bangladesh
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vaccine
taker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is
also
raised and reached at 400000 and around 39000 in 2020
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IELTS academic Illustrate the following graph which shows the vaccine taker number in different countries of asia in different year

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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