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The line graph and table graph show the average monthly temperature and annual houra of shineshine in major three countries

The line graph and table graph show the average monthly temperature and annual houra of shineshine in major three countries BaWaV
The line graph and the table gives data on average temperatures and yearly hours of sunshine in London, New York and Sydney. Looking at the monthly average temperatures in more detail, the changes in temperatures in London and New York show a similarity although the city in North America has warmer summers and colder winters. The average temperatures in both London and New York respectively peak at 23 degrees and 29 degrees in July, whereas January is the month when Sydney experiences the warmest weather with 25 degrees. New York’s temperatures decrease to an average of around 5 degrees in December/January, 3 degrees lower than the figure for London, while Sydney shows the lowest average temperatures in July, reaching just over 15 degrees. Probing Further, As far as sunshine duration is concerned, New York and Sydney have relatively similar averages of 2, 535 and 2, 473 hours respectively. However, the annualy average number of sunshine hours across London stands at a much lower rate with 1, 180 hours per year. Overall, the temperature patterns for London and New York are similar with the hottest weather being in July while the highest average temperature in Sydney is in January. The sunshine hours in New York and Sydney are nearly the same and much higher than the figure for London.
The line graph and the table gives data on
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average
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temperatures
and yearly
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hours
of
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sunshine
in London,
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New
York and Sydney.

Looking at the monthly
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average
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temperatures
in more detail, the
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changes
in
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temperatures
in London and
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New
York
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a similarity although the city in North America has warmer summers and colder winters. The
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average
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temperatures
in both London and
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New
York
respectively
peak at 23
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degrees
and 29
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degrees
in July, whereas January is the month when Sydney experiences the warmest weather with 25
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degrees
.
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New
York’s
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temperatures
decrease to an
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average
of around 5
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degrees
in December/January, 3
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degrees
lower than the figure for London, while Sydney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the lowest
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average
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temperatures
in July, reaching
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just
over 15 degrees.

Probing
Further
, As far as
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sunshine
duration
is concerned
,
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New
York and Sydney have
relatively
similar
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averages
of 2, 535 and 2, 473
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hours
respectively
.
However
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
annualy
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average
number of
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sunshine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
across London stands at a much lower rate with 1, 180
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hours
per year.

Overall
, the
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temperature
patterns for London and
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New
York are similar with the hottest weather being in July while the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in Sydney is in January. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sunshine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in
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New
York and Sydney are
nearly
the same and much higher than the figure for London.
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IELTS academic The line graph and table graph show the average monthly temperature and annual houra of shineshine in major three countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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