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The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011.

The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011. raDGJ
The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011. Overall, it is immediately obvious that the most striking feature is a substantial drop in CDs purchased as well as a significant rise in sales of streams. In addition, downloads registered the highest figure in 2014. In 2011, revenue from streams stood at about 5%, in comparison with around 55% in CDs. Over the period shown, sales of streams experienced a considerable increase to merely over 40% while the opposite trend was seen in CDs bought with its figure hitting the lowest point around 25% in 2018. Especially, turnover from both ways was same (nearly 30%) by 2016. Approximately 35% was the percentage of revenue from downloads, which witnessed a slight growth and reached the peak of merely over 40% in 2014. However, its sales then saw a gradual decrease to precisely 30% in 2018. At the end of period, the proportion of money streams gaining surpassed other forms and became the most popular method.
The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a course of 8 years, starting in 2011.

Overall
, it is immediately obvious that the most striking feature is a substantial drop in CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
as well
as a significant rise in sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
.
In addition
, downloads registered the highest figure in 2014.

In 2011, revenue from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
stood at about 5%,
in comparison
with around 55% in CDs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
the period shown, sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
experienced a considerable increase to
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40% while the opposite trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
with its figure hitting the lowest point around 25% in 2018.
Especially
, turnover from both ways was same (
nearly
30%) by 2016.

Approximately 35% was the percentage of revenue from downloads, which witnessed a slight growth and reached the peak of
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40% in 2014.
However
, its sales then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual decrease to
precisely
30% in 2018. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period, the proportion of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
gaining surpassed other forms and became the most popular method.

IELTS academic The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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