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The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011.

The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011. raDGJ
The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011. Overall, it is immediately obvious that the most striking feature is a substantial drop in CDs purchased as well as a significant rise in sales of streams. In addition, downloads registered the highest figure in 2014. In 2011, revenue from streams stood at about 5%, in comparison with around 55% in CDs. Over the period shown, sales of streams experienced a considerable increase to merely over 40% while the opposite trend was seen in CDs bought with its figure hitting the lowest point around 25% in 2018. Especially, turnover from both ways was same (nearly 30%) by 2016. Approximately 35% was the percentage of revenue from downloads, which witnessed a slight growth and reached the peak of merely over 40% in 2014. However, its sales then saw a gradual decrease to precisely 30% in 2018. At the end of period, the proportion of money streams gaining surpassed other forms and became the most popular method.
The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a course of 8 years, starting in 2011.

Overall
, it is immediately obvious that the most striking feature is a substantial drop in CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
as well
as a significant rise in sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
.
In addition
, downloads registered the highest figure in 2014.

In 2011, revenue from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
stood at about 5%,
in comparison
with around 55% in CDs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
the period shown, sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
experienced a considerable increase to
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40% while the opposite trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
with its figure hitting the lowest point around 25% in 2018.
Especially
, turnover from both ways was same (
nearly
30%) by 2016.

Approximately 35% was the percentage of revenue from downloads, which witnessed a slight growth and reached the peak of
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40% in 2014.
However
, its sales then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual decrease to
precisely
30% in 2018. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period, the proportion of money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
gaining surpassed other forms and became the most popular method.
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IELTS academic The line chart illustrates the proportion of music turnover by 3 various ways over a course of 8 years, starting in 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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