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The line chart illustrates the number of visitors who arrived in different regions of the world over a 15 year period from 1995 to 2010. Their number is given in milions.

The line chart illustrates the number of visitors who arrived in different regions of the world over a 15 year period from 1995 to 2010. Their number is given in milions. W8a9a
Overall, it is evident that although variations had witnessed in the arrival of tourists in varied countries, yet an overwhelming amount of tourists wre arrived in USA. However, the opposite was true for Brazil and Egypt. Accordingly, in 1995, the figure of tourists commuting in USA was about 70 million; however, it experienced a gradual increase in the following years and reached at 90 million in the dusk of the period. Strikingly, there was a considerable growth in the number of commuters of excursion in France from 1995 to 2010, which hit the crest at approximately 90 million. Shifting attention towards the remaining information, the digit of commuters who made a journey in Malaysia climbed slightly to around 33 million in 2005; whereas, it further rose moderately represented as 48 million in 2010. By contrast, the number of travellers in Egypt were of unmarked amount accounted as 10 million, while there was a steady increase in the arrival of tourists around 20 million and 18 million subsequently.
Overall
, it is evident that although variations had witnessed in the arrival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in varied countries,
yet
an overwhelming amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
Possible spelling mistake found.
wre
arrived
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
.
However
, the opposite was true for Brazil and Egypt.
Accordingly
, in 1995, the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
commuting
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
was about 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
;
however
, it experienced a gradual increase in the following years and reached at 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the dusk of the period.
Strikingly
, there was a considerable growth in the number of commuters of excursion in France from 1995 to 2010, which hit the crest at approximately 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Shifting attention towards the remaining information, the digit of commuters who made
The usual preposition for "a journey" with a named destination is "to". Did you mean "a trip to"?
a journey in
Malaysia climbed
slightly
to around 33
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005; whereas, it
further
rose
moderately
represented as 48
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2010. By contrast, the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
in Egypt were of unmarked amount accounted as 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, while there was a steady increase in the arrival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
around 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
subsequently
.
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IELTS academic The line chart illustrates the number of visitors who arrived in different regions of the world over a 15 year period from 1995 to 2010. Their number is given in milions.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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