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The graph show consumption of four kind of foods in European countries between 1979 and 2004 in gram per person per week

The graph show consumption of four kind of foods in European countries between 1979 and 2004 in gram per person per week YdaQd
The line graph illustrates amount of fish and three types of meet which were consumed in a European countries from 1979 to 2004 in grams per person per week. Overall, consumption of beef was highest in beginning year. However, chicken consumption surpassed beef in the end of period. moreover all kind of food showed a decrease except the chicken. In the 1979, consumption rate of chicken was almost 159 gram per person per week. It dramatically increased with some fluctuation over the period and stood at 250. In the case of beef, amount of consumption was highest among four kind of food in 1979. However, it sharply fell in 1981 and then surge to around 250 in 1984. Then, trand showed a decline with minor fluctuation. After that, it reached at nearly 100 gram.
The line graph illustrates amount of fish and three types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
which
were consumed
in a European
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
from 1979 to 2004 in grams per person per week.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of beef was highest in beginning year.
However
, chicken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
surpassed beef in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
all kind of food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decrease except the chicken. In the 1979,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
rate of chicken was almost 159
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
per person per week. It
dramatically
increased with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation over the period and stood at 250. In the case of beef, amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
was highest among four
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of food in 1979.
However
, it
sharply
fell in 1981 and then surge to around 250 in 1984. Then,
Possible spelling mistake found.
trand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decline with minor fluctuation. After that, it reached at
nearly
100
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
.
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IELTS academic The graph show consumption of four kind of foods in European countries between 1979 and 2004 in gram per person per week

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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