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The line chart details the proportion of residents living in Australia in millions from different regions between 1976 and 2011.

The line chart details the proportion of residents living in Australia in millions from different regions between 1976 and 2011. BlgJ5
The rendered line graph illustrates information about millions of different regions lived in Australia between 1976 and 2011. according to data, in 1976, 14 million UK's people were lived in Australia which figure sharp decrease in following year and arrived at 9 million people in 1991, which is a similar account of Asia and other nations, however, UK's resident number fall down dramatically and arrived at 5 million people in 2011. Roughly, 9 million other nation's individual accounted in 1976, after there a tiny dip and proportion fall down at 6. 5 million masses in 1986, o the contrary, again take a lead and arrived at 13 million residents. A rocket increase seems in Asian proportion, which was accounted 4 million in 1976 but went up significantly all period and arrived 15 million individual in 2011, which is the highest figure of graph. Total number number of proportion was 23 million in 1976 which figure stable at same after a small decrease. Overall, Asian proportion grow significant, where as UK sector is only side which was dropped in all given period.
The rendered line graph illustrates information about
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millions
of
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different
regions
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lived
in Australia between 1976 and 2011.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to data, in 1976, 14
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million
UK's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Australia which figure sharp decrease in following year and
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arrived
at 9
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 1991, which is a similar account of Asia and other nations,
however
, UK's resident number fall down
dramatically
and
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arrived
at 5
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2011. Roughly, 9
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million
other
Possible agreement error. The noun 'nation' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nations".
nation
's individual accounted in 1976, after there a tiny dip and
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proportion
fall down at 6. 5
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million
masses in 1986, o the contrary, again take a lead and
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arrived
at 13
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million
residents. A rocket increase seems in Asian
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proportion
, which
was accounted
4
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million
in 1976
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
went up
significantly
all period and
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arrived
15
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million
individual in 2011, which is the highest figure of graph. Total
Possible typo: you repeated a word
number number
of
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proportion
was 23
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million
in 1976 which figure stable at same after a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
decrease.
Overall
, Asian
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proportion
grow significant,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
UK sector is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
side which
was dropped
in all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
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IELTS academic The line chart details the proportion of residents living in Australia in millions from different regions between 1976 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
181 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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