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The information about the aid provided by six developed countries US, Germany, UK, Japan, Netherland and Sweden to developing nations between 2008 to 2010 is represented by the rendered vertical bar graph.

The information about the aid provided by six developed countries US, Germany, UK, Japan, Netherland and Sweden to developing nations between 2008 to 2010 is represented by the rendered vertical bar graph. Lw6l6
The information about the aid provided by six developed countries US, Germany, UK, Japan, Netherland and Sweden to developing nations between 2008 to 2010 is represented by the rendered vertical bar graph. The data has been calibrated in billions of dollars. Overall, it can be clearly witnessed from the column chart that the highest amount of aid was provided by the America in all the periods whereas Sweden and Netherland were the least among all the countries in helping developing nations. In USA, around 23 billion of dollars were given in the year 2008 for the development of other countries. There was a slight decline in 2009 when it reached 20 billion but after this it increased significantly and peaked at 25 billion. In the case of Germany, it showed an upward trend, and the aid was around 10 billion in 2008 and reached a high of 15 billion by 2010. Similarly, in Great Britain an upward trend was witnessed, it started with 12 billion and then there was slight decline in 2009 but it increased in 2010, it accounted for 14 billion. Moving towards Japan, Netherland and Sweden, these were the only three nations which showed a downward trend.
The information about the aid provided by six
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
US, Germany, UK, Japan,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
and Sweden to developing nations
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2008 and 2010".
between 2008 to 2010
is represented
by the rendered vertical bar graph. The data has
been calibrated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of dollars.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
witnessed from the column chart that the highest amount of aid
was provided
by the America in all the periods whereas Sweden and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
were the least among all the countries in helping
The verb 'helping' is used with an infinitive: "to develop" or "develop".
developing
nations.

A determiner is probably missing here: "In the USA".
In USA
, around 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
of dollars were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the year 2008 for the development of other countries. There was a slight decline in 2009 when it reached 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after this it increased
significantly
and peaked at 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. In the case of Germany, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend, and the aid was around 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2008 and reached a high of 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
by 2010.
Similarly
, in Great Britain an upward trend
was witnessed
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
and then there was slight decline in 2009
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it increased in 2010, it accounted for 14 billion.

Moving towards Japan,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
and Sweden, these were the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three nations which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend.
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IELTS academic The information about the aid provided by six developed countries US, Germany, UK, Japan, Netherland and Sweden to developing nations between 2008 to 2010 is represented by the rendered vertical bar graph.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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