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The bar graph below shows the percentage of unemployment between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005.

The bar graph below shows the percentage of unemployment between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005. 2lXlx
The given bar chart represents the information about the proportion of unemployment youth people in 2005 by 5 European countries. Overall, it is observed that, maximum percentage of jobless adults adults in Poland as compare to other Nations, whereas the oval unemployment proportion in Denmark was least. As far as graph records, the percentage of unemployed aged from 15 to 24 in Poland was highest (over 35%), while the overall unemployment proportion was 15%. In Italy, the percentage of unemployed youngsters was 15% more than the whole unemployment, in which overall unemployment was nearly one in ten. Moving further, there was almost 10% difference between the proportion of overall unemployment ( approximately one in twenty) and unemployment youth ( over 15 %) in Hungary. Germany's whole unemployment was 5%less than unemployment of youngsters (13%). Furthermore, in Denmark, the percentage of unemployed aged between 15 - 24 years and overall unemployment was 7% and 3% respectively.
The
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given
bar chart represents the information about the
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proportion
of
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unemployment
youth
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people
in 2005 by 5 European countries.
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Overall
, it
is observed
that, maximum
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percentage
of jobless
Possible typo: you repeated a word
adults adults
in Poland as compare to other Nations, whereas the oval
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unemployment
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proportion
in Denmark was least. As far as graph records, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of unemployed aged from 15 to 24 in Poland was highest (over 35%), while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
was 15%. In Italy, the
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percentage
of unemployed youngsters was 15% more than the whole
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unemployment
, in which
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overall
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unemployment
was
nearly
one in ten. Moving
further
, there was almost 10% difference between the
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proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
approximately one in twenty) and
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unemployment
youth
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
over 15 %) in Hungary. Germany's whole
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unemployment
was 5%less than
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unemployment
of youngsters (13%).
Furthermore
, in Denmark, the
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percentage
of unemployed aged between
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15 - 24
years and
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overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
was 7% and 3%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the percentage of unemployment between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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