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The information about shopping on the Internet sales between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand has changed a lot. Do you agree with this statement?

The information about shopping on the Internet sales between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand has changed a lot. kYL7M
The pie chart gives information about shopping on the Internet sales between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand. Overall, the percentage in travel area occupied the largest in 2003 but in 2013, film and music sector took the first place. It is evident that in 2003, travel was the largest percentage, hold 36%, which fall to 29% in 2003. The purchase of people into books, film and music was an upward trend: in 2003, books made up 19% and raised 3% after 10 years; especially film and music increased 12% during 10 years, from 21% to 33%. However, the percentages of the online sales of the clothes decreased retail sectors decreased. In 2003, it occupied 24% and fell in a minority in 2013.
The pie chart gives information about shopping on the Internet sales between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand.

Overall
, the percentage in travel area occupied the largest in 2003
but
in 2013, film and music sector took the
first
place.

It is evident that in 2003, travel was the largest percentage, hold 36%, which fall to 29% in 2003. The
purchase
of
people
into books, film and music was an upward trend: in 2003, books made up 19% and raised 3% after 10 years;
especially
film and music increased 12% during 10 years, from 21% to 33%.

However
, the percentages of the online sales of the clothes decreased retail sectors decreased. In 2003, it occupied 24% and fell in a minority in 2013.
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IELTS academic The information about shopping on the Internet sales between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand has changed a lot.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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