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the illustrations shows how chocolate is produced.

The above diagram explains the process of how chocolate is produced. Overall, This process consists of total 10 stages, of which the first step is the cultivation of cacao trees and final state ends with collection of liquid chocolate. Firstly, the cacao tree is widely grown in the South America, Africa, and the country of Indonesia. This cacao tree produces pods which are available in different colors during its growth. When this pods turned into ripe red color, they are harvested from the trees and the pods contain white cacao beans. These beans are gathered and fermented in a suitable container and then sun-dried by spreading evenly. After heat dried in the sun they are packed in the large sacks and transported by train or lorry to the chocolate factory. In the production area, the beans are roasted at 350*c and poured in a crusher equipment where the beans gets crushed and outer layer is removed. Eventually, the seeds are transferred to a presser where it presses the inner part of the beans and chocolate in a liquid state is procured which is used for various purposes.
The above diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the process of how chocolate
is produced
.
Overall
, This process consists of total 10 stages, of which the
first
step is the cultivation of cacao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and final state ends with collection of liquid chocolate.
Firstly
, the cacao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
is
widely
grown in the South America, Africa, and the country of Indonesia. This cacao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
produces pods which are available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
colors during its growth. When this pods turned into ripe red color, they
are harvested
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and the pods contain white cacao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are gathered
and fermented in a suitable container and then sun-dried by spreading
evenly
. After heat dried in the sun they
are packed
in the large sacks and transported by train or lorry to the chocolate factory. In the production area, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are roasted
at 350*c and poured in a crusher equipment where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
crushed and outer layer
is removed
.
Eventually
, the seeds
are transferred
to a presser where it presses the inner part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
and chocolate in a liquid state
is procured
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various purposes.

IELTS academic the illustrations shows how chocolate is produced.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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