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The illustration depicts the City Hospital map so that differences between 2007 and 2010 are distinguishable by this delineation. Multiple alterations are identifiable in the road map as well as the car parks.

The illustration depicts the City Hospital map so that differences between 2007 and 2010 are distinguishable by this delineation. Multiple alterations are identifiable in the road map as well as the car parks. Jo3P5
The maps are illustrating the access to City Hospital via City Road and Ring Road using both public and private transport. The maps are before and after the hospital site renewal. The changes to be explained in the following paragraphs. In the old map before development, there is only one parking shared by staff and public. This shared carpark is located adjacent to Hospital Road. The bus stops are located along Hospital road on both sides. The recent map is addressing a major renewal in the hospital site. Two significant improvements have been carried out which are identifiable at first sight. First, two roundabouts have been constructed at both ends of Hospital road which can minimize safety hazards by reducing vehicles velocity along Hospital Road. Expanding the car park by constructing a separate public parking and dedicating a parking to the staff is second improvement. Moving the bus stops to the side of the road is another change which makes the area more convenience. As a summary, the hospital site renewal has made a huge difference to provide better and safer service to the hospital staff, patients and visitors.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
are illustrating the access to City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
via City
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
and Ring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
using both public and private transport. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
site renewal.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
development, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one parking shared by staff and public. This shared
Possible spelling mistake found.
carpark
is located
adjacent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
. The bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
are located
along
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
on both sides.

The recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
is addressing a major renewal in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
site. Two significant improvements have
been carried
out which are identifiable at
first
sight.
First
, two roundabouts have
been constructed
at both ends of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
which can minimize safety hazards by reducing vehicles velocity along
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
Road.

Expanding the car park by constructing a separate public parking and dedicating a parking to the staff is second improvement. Moving the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
to the side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the area more convenience.

As a summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
site renewal has made a huge difference to provide better and safer service to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
staff, patients and visitors.
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IELTS academic The illustration depicts the City Hospital map so that differences between 2007 and 2010 are distinguishable by this delineation. Multiple alterations are identifiable in the road map as well as the car parks.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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