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The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. 2w1j
The combination of pie and bar chart illustrates the percentage of professionals suffering from stress along with working hour per week in 8 categories. Overall, it is clearly seen that maximum number of hours is spend by business men per week, whereas, least percentage of stress is suffered by programmers. To begin with, highest number of hours spend by business men by work is 70 hour per week which is followed by movie producers, at 60 hour per week and lowest hour spend by lecturers accounted for 30 hours. Moreover, Cheif, lawyers and programmers spend hour per week is ranged from 30 to 40 hours. Doctors worked more than 5 hour per week then writers which is 50 hours. Turning towards the remaining information, Lawyers and writers is suffering exact equal number of stess that is 8 percent. Chefs is double of programmers with same problem that is 10 percent. Doctors anxiety issue is less than 10 percent of lecturers which is about 25 percent. Business men and movie producers their stress-related ailment is 11 percent and 18 percent respectively.
The combination of pie and bar chart illustrates the percentage of professionals suffering from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
along with working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in 8 categories.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
by business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, whereas,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is suffered
by programmers.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
by business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
by work is 70
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
which
is followed
by movie producers, at 60
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
by lecturers accounted for 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cheif
, lawyers and programmers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
is ranged
from 30 to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Doctors worked more than 5
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
then writers which is 50 hours.

Turning towards the remaining information, Lawyers and writers is suffering exact equal number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
stess
that is
8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. Chefs
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
double of programmers with same problem
that is
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. Doctors anxiety issue is less than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of lecturers which is about 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. Business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and movie producers their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related ailment is 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.

IELTS academic The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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