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The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2000 in a country.

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2000 in a country. paLYL
The first bar chart depicts the information about the proportion of released films. Whereas, the second bar graph provides information about the percentage of ticket sales of various types of movies in the two years 1996 and 2000 in a nation. Overall, it is explicit that the highest percentile of drama movies were released in both the years. Whereas, the maximum percentum of comedy movies tickets were sold. In 1996, the highest percentage of drama movies were released. That was about 25%. The percentile of released drama films were inclined to 35% in 2000. The percentum of released comedy films were increased from 20% to 25% in 2000. By 1996, there was approximately 12% fantasy movies had released. The percentile of the released fantasy films were rose by about 5% in 2000. It is interesting to note that there was same proportion of romance films released. That was around 6%. Moving further, there was 20% of comedy movie tickets were sold in 1996. But, the percentile of sold comedy film tickets were increased to around 23% in 2000. There was almost same percentage of drama movie tickets were sold in both years. That was 15%. There was nearly 2% and about 7% of fantasy movie tickets were sold in 1996 and 2000 respectively. By contrast, the percentage of sold tickets of romance film were fell from 5% to around 2% in 2000.
The
first
bar chart depicts the information about the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
films. Whereas, the second bar graph provides information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
sales of various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the two years 1996 and 2000 in a nation.

Overall
, it is explicit that the highest percentile of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
in both the years.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the maximum
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were sold
.

In 1996, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
. That was about 25%. The percentile of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
films
were inclined
to 35% in 2000. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
films
were increased
from 20% to 25% in 2000. By 1996, there was approximately 12% fantasy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
. The percentile of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
fantasy films were rose by about 5% in 2000. It is interesting to note that there was same proportion of romance films
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
. That was around 6%.

Moving
further
, there was 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were sold
in 1996.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the percentile of sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comedy
film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were increased
to around 23% in 2000. There was almost same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were sold
in both years. That was 15%. There was
nearly
2% and about 7% of fantasy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were sold
in 1996 and 2000
respectively
. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
of romance film were fell from 5% to around 2% in 2000.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2000 in a country.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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