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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Vap7
The graph demonstrates the admissions of abroad students and local students in Australian universities from 2001 to 2010. Overall, total number of overseas students increased drametically in given period of time. Firstly, 20, 000 overseas students enrolled in australian university in 2001, on the contrary, 40, 000 local students admitted in the same year. Total number of international students increase rapidly over 10 years period and reach to it's peak at about 81000 in year 2010, at the same time around 61000 local students got enlisted in university. Number of local commencing in 2001 was about 12000, which was slightly higher than overseas beginnners. This number keep fluctuated in 10 years of period and remain almost same in 2010, while This amount in overseas students went up sharply to almost 41000.
The graph demonstrates the admissions of abroad
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students
and
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local
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students
in Australian universities from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
, total number of
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overseas
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students
increased
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drametically
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.

Firstly
, 20, 000
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overseas
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students
enrolled in
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australian
university in 2001,
on the contrary
, 40, 000
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local
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students
admitted in the same
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year
. Total number of international
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students
increase
rapidly
over 10 years period and reach to it's peak at about 81000 in
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year
2010, at the same time around 61000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
enlisted in university.

Number of
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local
commencing in 2001 was about 12000, which was
slightly
higher than
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overseas
Possible spelling mistake found.
beginnners
. This number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fluctuated in 10 years of period and remain almost same in 2010, while This amount in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
went up
sharply
to almost 41000.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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