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The graph illustrates a part of population in various countries (USA, Japan and Sweden) between the people of age 65 and above. The portion of population is measured between the year 1940 up to the year 2040 and the units are measured in percentage. Overall, the population of USA, Japan and Sweden stayed relatively low but predicted to increase massively in the year 2040. The population of these three countries are expected to rise almost about 25%.

The graph illustrates a part of population in various countries (USA, Japan and Sweden) between the people of age 65 and above. The portion of population is measured between the year 1940 up to the year 2040 and the units are measured in percentage. Overall, the population of USA, Japan and Sweden stayed relatively low but predicted to increase massively in the year 2040. The population of these three countries are expected to rise almost about 25%. ypJ3
The graph illustrates a part of population in various countries (USA, Japan and Sweden) between the people of age 65 and above. The portion of population is measured between the year 1940 up to the year 2040 and the units are measured in percentage. Overall, the population of USA, Japan and Sweden stayed relatively low but predicted to increase massively in the year 2040. The population of these three countries are expected to rise almost about 25%. USA and Sweden, the population remained consistent through the years 1940 till 1960 but it increased to about 15% in the year 1980. The population of both countries then dropped significantly but then population of Sweden exploded and before 2020 it increased to about 20% whereas the population of USA stayed consistent and then gradually increased. The population of both countries is predicted to increase to about 25% by the year 2040. The population of japan decreased gradually from the year 1940 till the year 1960 and then stayed consistent marginally above the year 1980 and then it increased slowly till 2020 and it is predicted to increase at the constant rate but between the years 2020 and 2040 it is expected to explode and reach 25%. After that is it expected to increase considerably less than 30% till the year 2040.
The graph illustrates a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
(USA, Japan and Sweden) between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of age 65 and above. The portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is measured
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1940 up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2040 and the units
are measured
in percentage.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
, Japan and Sweden stayed
relatively
low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
predicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
massively
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2040. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of these three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to rise almost about 25%.

USA and Sweden, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
remained consistent through the years 1940 till 1960
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
to about 15% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1980. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
then dropped
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Sweden exploded and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
2020 it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
to about 20% whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
stayed consistent and then
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is predicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
to about 25% by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2040.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of japan decreased
gradually
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1940 till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1960 and then stayed consistent
marginally
above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1980 and then it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
slowly
till 2020 and it
is predicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
at the constant rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
between the years 2020 and 2040 it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to explode and reach 25%.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that is
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
considerably
less than 30% till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2040.
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IELTS academic The graph illustrates a part of population in various countries (USA, Japan and Sweden) between the people of age 65 and above. The portion of population is measured between the year 1940 up to the year 2040 and the units are measured in percentage. Overall, the population of USA, Japan and Sweden stayed relatively low but predicted to increase massively in the year 2040. The population of these three countries are expected to rise almost about 25%.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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