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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. GRLm
The line-graph illustrates the admission of foreign and domestic scholar in Australian universities in a period of ten years. In terms of overseas students, the total had almost double number (exactly 20, 000) than the commencing(around 10000), former starting at 10000 and latter at 20000. The figure of total soared and reached to peak (around 80000) scholars in 2010. Whereas, commencing number rose steadily and hit a peak of 40000 in 2010. On the other hand, in regard to local scholar, number of commencing was slightly below 20, 0000 in 2001. This figure witnessed fluctuations and achieved exactly 20, 0000 in 2010. Total had double numbers than that of the commencing in the starting period. Number skyrocketed and total got sixfold numbers than commencing. Overall, foreign and local students witnessed an upward trend over the 10 years in regard to total. Meantime, commencing overseas students increased gradually in the given period, total domestic pupils remained more or less same. Another marking factor, there is huge difference between commencing and total number of local pupils than overseas pupils.
The line-graph illustrates the admission of foreign and domestic scholar in Australian universities in a period of ten years.

In terms of overseas students, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
had almost double
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
(exactly 20, 000) than the commencing(around 10000), former starting at 10000 and latter at 20000. The figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
soared and reached to peak (around 80000) scholars in 2010. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
rose
steadily
and hit a peak of 40000 in 2010.

On the other hand
, in regard to local scholar,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
was
slightly
below 20, 0000 in 2001. This figure witnessed fluctuations and achieved exactly 20, 0000 in 2010.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
had double
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
than that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
in the starting period.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Number
skyrocketed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sixfold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
than commencing.

Overall
, foreign and local students witnessed an upward trend over the 10 years in regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
. Meantime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
overseas students increased
gradually
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
domestic pupils remained more or less same. Another marking factor, there is huge difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of local pupils than overseas pupils.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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