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The graphs below show health and education spending and changes in life expectancy and infant mortality in the UAE

The graphs below show health and education spending and changes in life expectancy and infant mortality in the UAE G9Lrw
The bar chart describes the expenditure on health and education in UAE as the percentage of GDP over the period of eight years while the line graph illustrates the changing in the life expectancy and infant mortality rates in the UAE from 1970 to 1992. It can be seen that the percentage of money that UAE administrator spending on both Health and education increased. While there was a big distance between the number of people's life expetancy and infant mortality rate in 1970. According to the first graph, the UAE's budget for health witnesseed a significantly increase by 4% whereas the money spending on education dropped slightly from 75% to 65% between 1985 and 1990 before it showed an upward trend in 1993 (10%). From 1970 to 1992, there was a dramatically declined in the infant mortality rate ( from 70 to 20 ). On the other hand, the life ecpectancy in the UAE saw an increase to 70 years in 1992.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the expenditure on health and education
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
as the percentage of GDP over the period of eight years while the line graph illustrates the changing in the life expectancy and infant mortality rates in the UAE from 1970 to 1992. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the percentage of money that UAE administrator spending on both Health and education increased. While there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
distance between the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life
Possible spelling mistake found.
expetancy
and infant mortality rate in 1970.

According to the
first
graph, the UAE's budget for health
Possible spelling mistake found.
witnesseed
a
You used an adverb ('significantly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
significantly increase
by 4% whereas the money spending on education dropped
slightly
from 75% to 65% between 1985 and 1990
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend in 1993 (10%).

From 1970 to 1992, there was a
dramatically
declined in the infant mortality rate
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
from 70 to 20
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.
On the other hand
, the life
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecpectancy
in the UAE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an increase to 70 years in 1992.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show health and education spending and changes in life expectancy and infant mortality in the UAE

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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