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the graphs below provide information about the sales in england of three different kinds of music

the graphs below provide information about the sales in england of three different kinds of music AjKXN
The bar graph represents the comparison of distinct types of music that was purchased in britain while, line graph reveals the sales of PoP, classical and Rock music in billion pounds over the time period of 40 years. It is apperant from former illustration that the sales of pop music in first two years remained higher by earning 5 billion pounds which alarmingly delined in remaining tow decades and went under 4 billion pounds. Nextly, sales of Rock music remained under 4 billion pounds throught the time period of 4 years. Finally, classical music's sales also followed the same trend as Pop music but ever went higher than 4 billions. It further clear from latter illustration that in the begining of 1970's Pop and Rock started sailing aproximately from 3 billion that gradually incline throughout the begining of 1980. While, pop music sales kept on surging and Rock music sales fell down in last decade. On the other hand, Classical music's sale was 4 billion in 1960's which reaced below 2 billion pounds by 1990. Overall, Pop music was the most popular music in britain which kept on increasing for sailing.
The bar graph represents the comparison of distinct types of
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music
that was
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purchased
in
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britain
while, line graph reveals the
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sales
of
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PoP
, classical and
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Rock
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music
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
pounds over the time period of 40 years.

It is
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apperant
from former illustration that the
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sales
of pop
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music
in
first
two years remained higher by earning 5
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billion
pounds which
alarmingly
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delined
in remaining tow decades and went under 4
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billion
pounds.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
,
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sales
of
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Rock
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music
remained under 4
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billion
pounds
Possible spelling mistake found.
throught
the time period of 4 years.
Finally
, classical music's
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sales
also
followed the same trend as Pop
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music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ever went higher than 4 billions.

It seems that a verb is missing.
It
further
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
from latter illustration that in the
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begining
of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1970s".
1970's
Pop and
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Rock
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
sailing
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aproximately
from 3
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billion
that
gradually
incline throughout the
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begining
of 1980. While, pop
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music
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sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on surging and
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Rock
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music
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sales
fell down in last decade.
On the other hand
, Classical music's
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sale
was 4
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billion
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1960's".
in 1960's
which
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reaced
below 2
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billion
pounds by 1990.

Overall
, Pop
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music
was the most popular
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music
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
britain
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing for sailing.

IELTS academic the graphs below provide information about the sales in england of three different kinds of music

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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