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the graph shows the average of the temperature and the average number of hours of sunshine in three cities

the graph shows the average of the temperature and the average number of hours of sunshine in three cities PVxjd
The graph examines the levels of the monthly temperatures and the total amount of hours of daylight in three important cities: London, New york and Sydney. An overall view of the graph shows us that the trends’ temperature in the two cities of London and New York are almost similar. By studying the graph in more detail, it is clear that the temperature in London and New York at the beginning of the year is low in both the cities. Indeed, during the month of January, the temperature in London is just under 10 degrees and it will start rising only by the end of February. In New York the climate is even harder: during the period January to the middle of March indeed, the whole temperature stays under 10 degrees. Despite its rigid winter climate, New York reaches high temperature during the whole spring and summer period. The month of July is indeed the warmest, and the temperature reaches nearly 30 degrees. This explains the large amount of hours of sunshine in Newyork (2, 535) in comparison to London where the average number is only 1, 180. The number of daylight hours in Newyork is even higher than the hours of sunlight in Sydney, the warmest cities between the three, whose temperature never declines under 15 degrees.
The graph examines the levels of the monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperatures
and the total amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of daylight in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
: London,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New york
and Sydney. An
overall
view of the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that the trends’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of London and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York are almost similar.

By studying the graph in more detail, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in London and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York at the beginning of the year is low in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Indeed
, during the month of January, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
in London is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
rising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of February. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York the climate is even harder: during the period January to the middle of March
indeed
, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
stays under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
. Despite its rigid winter climate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York reaches high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
during the whole spring and summer period. The month of July is
indeed
the warmest, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
reaches
nearly
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of sunshine in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newyork
(2, 535)
in comparison
to London where the average number is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1, 180. The number of daylight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newyork
is even higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of sunlight in Sydney, the warmest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
between the three, whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
never declines under 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
.
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IELTS academic the graph shows the average of the temperature and the average number of hours of sunshine in three cities

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
218 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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