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The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. v.3

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. v. 3
The bar charts illustrate the percentage of people owning a computer between 2002 and 2010 as well as the data relationship between having a computer and education level. The differences recorded are obtained from 2002 and 2010. In 2002, more than 50% people owned a computer and it began to rise over the years. The increase was rather slow however a consistent improvement could be seen. At two years interval, the number of ownership increases by two percent. The highest amount of ownership, approximately 75% is recorded to be in 2010. The percentage of computer ownership varied in accordance with people’s level of education. A group of people who did not receive a high school diploma possessed the lowest amount of computer. The rank followed by high school graduates, a group of people who did not finish college and bachelor's degree. Postgraduate qualifiers became the group with the highest computer ownership. Although the two lowest groups created a huge gap between one another, the change of the percentage decreased as the level of education received by a person was getting better. Not only that, the distinction between 2002 and 2010 data began to be less significant as the education level was improved. Overall, the bar charts depict similar trends with only small changes from year to year. Apparently, the better the education one received, the greater the percentage of keeping his or her computer.
The bar charts illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owning a computer between 2002 and 2010
as well
as the data relationship between having a computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
. The differences recorded
are obtained
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2002 to 2010"?
from 2002 and 2010
.

In 2002, more than 50%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a computer and it began to rise over the years. The increase was
rather
slow
however
a consistent improvement could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. At two years interval, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
increases by two percent. The highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
, approximately 75%
is recorded
to be in 2010.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
varied in accordance with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did not receive a high school diploma possessed the lowest amount of computer. The rank followed by high school graduates, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did not finish college and bachelor's degree. Postgraduate qualifiers became the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with the highest computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
. Although the two lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
created a huge gap between one another, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
decreased as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
received by a person was getting better. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, the distinction between 2002 and 2010 data began to be less significant as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Overall
, the bar charts depict similar trends with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Apparently
, the better the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
one received, the greater the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
computer.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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