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The graph yield intelligence about the percentage employ of newcomer

The graph yield intelligence about the percentage employ of newcomer dlk77
The graph yield intelligence about the percentage employ of newcomer instructor for english and french languages in Ontario for customary instruct occupation based on year of graduation during 7 year period from 2001 to 2007 overall at first in 2001 both category of instructor has the same luck for employment on the contrary overtime the percentage of the english instructor has considerably decline while the percentage of french instructor dont have any noticeable changes also between 2003 to 2005 both category of instructor has hardly growth In 2001 english and french language instructor employment was about 70 percent more over english language instructor has considerable drop amidst 2001 to 2003 (70% to 40%) and 2005 to 2007 (45% to 25%) also english language instructor has hardly growth in the middle of 2003 to 2005 (40% to 45%) while french language teacher has hopeless start they had fall among 2001 to 2002 (70% to 55%) also amidst 2002 to 2003 (55% to 70%) they had a normal development in addition among 2003 to 2007 the percentage french language teacher has level-off
The graph yield intelligence about the
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percentage
employ of newcomer
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instructor
for
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english
and
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
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languages
in Ontario for customary instruct occupation based on year of graduation during
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
7 year
period from 2001 to 2007

overall
at
first
in 2001 both category of
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instructor
has the same luck for employment
on the contrary
overtime the
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percentage
of the
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english
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instructor
has
considerably
decline while the
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percentage
of french
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructor
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dont
have any noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
also
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2003 and 2005".
between 2003 to 2005
both category of
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instructor
has hardly growth

In 2001
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
and
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructor
employment was about 70 percent more over
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructor
has considerable drop amidst 2001 to 2003 (70% to 40%) and 2005 to 2007 (45% to 25%)
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instructor
has hardly growth in the middle of 2003 to 2005 (40% to 45%) while
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
teacher has hopeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
they had fall among 2001 to 2002 (70% to 55%)
also
amidst 2002 to 2003 (55% to 70%) they had a normal development
in addition
among 2003 to 2007 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
teacher has level-off
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IELTS academic The graph yield intelligence about the percentage employ of newcomer

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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