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The bar graphs depict the employment rates of males and females in three regions consists of Australia, Japan, and Ireland during the period from 2005 and 2015.

The bar graphs depict the employment rates of males and females in three regions consists of Australia, Japan, and Ireland during the period from 2005 and 2015. ORr8G
The bar graphs depict the employment rates of males and females in three regions consists of Australia, Japan, and Ireland during the period from 2005 and 2015. Overall, there was a steady celerate in the percentage of men and women in 2005 and 2015. Furthermore, in all three nations and two times, males had a higher share of employed males than females. Looking at the first between 2005 and 2015 in Australie the rate for female which experiences a modest growth from 60% to 70%, compared with In japan The proportion of female was just roughly third-tenth, prior to accelerating significantly to 32% in 10-year's time. Ireland had the highest proportion of female employees among the three countries, at 44 percent, although Australia ranked first in this chart in 2015. On the contrary to women's employment, the employment rate for men in both year and nation was highest. Japan accounted for the highest employment proportion for males, with fluctuating in the range of around 74% in 2005 and remained unchanged in 10 years later. In the first period, over 60% employment of men is the data in Australia, compared with under 70% in Ireland. Following ten years later, these two countries tied for the second position with a similar rate at 70%.
The bar graphs depict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in three regions consists of Australia, Japan, and Ireland during the period
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2005 to 2015"?
from 2005 and 2015
.

Overall
, there was a steady
Possible spelling mistake found.
celerate
in the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in 2005 and 2015.
Furthermore
, in all three nations and two times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
had a higher share of employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
than females.

Looking at the
first
between 2005 and 2015 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Australie
 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
which experiences a modest growth from 60% to 70%, compared with In japan The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
roughly third-tenth, prior to accelerating
significantly
to 32% in 10-year's time. Ireland had the highest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employees among the three countries, at 44 percent, although Australia ranked
first
in this chart in 2015.

On the contrary
to women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in both year and nation was highest. Japan accounted for the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
proportion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
, with fluctuating in the range of around 74% in 2005 and remained unchanged in 10 years later. In the
first
period, over 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
is the data in Australia, compared with under 70% in Ireland. Following ten years later, these two countries tied for the second position with a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at 70%.
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IELTS academic The bar graphs depict the employment rates of males and females in three regions consists of Australia, Japan, and Ireland during the period from 2005 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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