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the graph shows the value of four products

the graph shows the value of four products Nlb8d
The line graph illustrated the sales of price for fourcommodity over the period 2009. In general, from January to December, the sales value of product A and C increased, while product B directed reduced. During this time, the value of these products were substantial. If taking commodity A, in the period from January to December, it has grew sharply. Look at other products that have changed, then take product C, which has also steadily increased and skyrocketed over the pastperiod. At the beginning of the year, the cost of product C was more than ten thousand dollars, and by the end of the year that cost had climbed by fourty thousand dollars. The prices of both commodities fluctuate slightly in the middle of the year. In contrast, it is easy to see that commodity B is significantlyreduced. Despite the fact that the value of the product is highest in January, this number has been steadily decreasing over the course of twelve months. As a result, at the end of the year, the cost of the product reached almost the lowest. In conclusion, there has been a change in the value position of these products. From the highest position at the beginning of the year, product B has dropped to the lowest position at the end of the year, while products A and C have risen to the top of the list even though they have the lowest value in the first months.
The line graph illustrated the sales of price for
Possible spelling mistake found.
fourcommodity
over the period 2009.
In general
, from January to December, the sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
A and C increased, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
B directed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

During this time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were substantial. If taking commodity A, in the period from January to December, it has
Use past participle here: "grown".
grew
sharply
. Look at other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, then take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
C, which has
also
steadily
increased and skyrocketed over the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pastperiod
. At the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
C was more than ten thousand dollars, and by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
that cost had climbed by
Possible spelling mistake found.
fourty
thousand dollars. The prices of both commodities fluctuate
slightly
in the middle of the year.

In contrast
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that commodity B is
Possible spelling mistake found.
significantlyreduced
. Despite the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is highest in January, this number has been
steadily
decreasing over the course of twelve months.
As a result
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
reached almost the lowest.

In conclusion
, there has been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
position of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. From the highest position at the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
B has dropped to the lowest position at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
A and C have risen to the top of the list
even though
they have the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in the
first
months.

IELTS academic the graph shows the value of four products

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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