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The charts depict the number of hours the parents spend with their children who were sorted by ages on the weekdays and weekends.

The charts depict the number of hours the parents spend with their children who were sorted by ages on the weekdays and weekends. PRKMK
The charts depict the number of hours the parents spend with their children who were sorted by ages on the weekdays and weekends. Overall, as can be seen clearly from the charts that on the weekdays, children spend the most time with their mother while the whole family enjoys their time altogether on the weekends. Moreover, father’s time is spent fewer hours with their children either on weekdays or on the weekends. Regarding weekdays, the largest time recorded for children from all age groups and mom are about 5 hours. By contrast, the time of children (under 1 and 8-9 years old groups) with daddy is approximately 2 hours which is double the figure of remaining age groups. Similarly, only about 1 hour is used by children under 5 years old with their parents whereas children over 6 years old spend nearly 2 hours with both dad and mom. On the other hand, the figure of infant (0-1 years old) group estimates for over 4 hours, but more or less 6 hours are recorded by children over 2 years old for whole family’s time on the weekends. These figures exceed the time data of children and moms at the same time (estimated for all age groups at under 4 hours). However, the lowest spending time for children is still from their father on Saturday and Sunday, over 1 hour of children 4-5 group and below 1 hour of remaining age groups.
The charts depict the number of
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hours
the parents spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
were sorted
by
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ages
on the weekdays and weekends.

Overall
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
from the charts that on the weekdays,
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children
spend the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their mother while the whole family enjoys their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
altogether on the weekends.
Moreover
, father’s
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time
is spent
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
either on weekdays or on the weekends.

Regarding weekdays, the largest
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time
recorded for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and mom are about 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. By contrast, the
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time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
(under 1 and 8-9 years
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups)
with
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
daddy
is approximately 2
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hours
which is double the figure of remaining
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 1
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hour
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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children
under 5 years
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old
with their parents whereas
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children
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over
6 years
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old
spend
nearly
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
with both dad and mom.

On the other hand
, the figure of infant (0-1 years
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old)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
estimates for
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over
4
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hours
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more or less 6
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hours
are recorded
by
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children
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over
2 years
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old
for whole family’s
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time
on the weekends. These figures exceed the
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time
data of
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children
and moms at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
(estimated for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
at under 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours)
.
However
, the lowest spending
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time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
still
from their father on Saturday and Sunday,
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over
1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
4-5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and below 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
of remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
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IELTS academic The charts depict the number of hours the parents spend with their children who were sorted by ages on the weekdays and weekends.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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