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The table illustrates the amount of telephone owners using different mobile phone features

The table illustrates the amount of telephone owners using different mobile phone features x8MOg
Given is a table that illustrates the amount of telephone owners who is using different mobile phone feautures. Overall, it can be seen that send & receive text messages search the internet, play music and record vidio features rate faced a significant growth while the percentage of make calls, take photos and play games were declined. Looking closely at the details, the percentage of people using make calls accounted for 100% between 2006 and 2008. Coming 2010, its figure faced a decrease by 1%. Take photo's number was 66, 71 and 76 in 2006, 2008 and 2010, respectively. There were more percentage in play games in 2008 compared to in 2006. At final year, its rate underwent a decline from 42 to 41 %. As for send & receive text messages' degree was increased by 6% a last 4 years ago. In 2006, the number of mobile phone owners using search the internet and record video was no data. The last 2 years ago, their rates experienced a twice rise. The play music's rate grew initial gradually from 12 to 18% and faced a significant growth by 8% in 2010.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
is a table that illustrates the amount of telephone owners who is using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mobile phone
Possible spelling mistake found.
feautures
.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
& receive text messages search the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
music and record
Possible spelling mistake found.
vidio
features
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
faced a significant growth while the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
calls, take photos and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
games
were declined
. Looking
closely
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
calls accounted for 100% between 2006 and 2008. Coming 2010, its figure faced a decrease by 1%. Take photo's number was 66, 71 and 76 in 2006, 2008 and 2010,
respectively
. There were more percentage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
games in 2008 compared to in 2006. At final year, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
underwent a decline from 42 to 41 %. As for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
& receive text messages' degree
was increased
by 6% a last 4 years ago. In 2006, the number of mobile phone owners using search the internet and record video was no data. The last 2 years ago, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
experienced a
You used an adverb ('twice') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rise') instead of another adjective.
twice rise
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
music's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
grew initial
gradually
from 12 to 18% and faced a significant growth by 8% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The table illustrates the amount of telephone owners using different mobile phone features

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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