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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australians divided by genders (males and females) in six age categories who did the daily activity of physical in the year 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australians divided by genders (males and females) in six age categories who did the daily activity of physical in the year 2010. MrVBa
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australians divided by genders (males and females) in six age categories who did the daily activity of physical in the year 2010. Overall, as can be seen clearly from the bar chart that there were different fluctuations in both the rates of males and females among age categories. While females aged 45 to 54 occupied the most proportion of doing physical activity, the lowest figure was from categories of males aged 35 to 44. Regarding the youngest age category (15-24), over 52% of males in Australia exercised regularly within 2010 but the rate of females only estimated for nearly 48%. By contrast, the higher figure shown by women at the age between 25 and 34 accounted for just under a half, whereas around 40% was from men in the same category. Similarly, females and males taking physical activity aged 35 to 44 recorded the figure of around 52% and 40%, respectively. In terms of the two remaining age under 65, the proportion of Australian males were over 40% on physical exercise, and over a half from the figures for females was shown. On the other hand, males and females aged 65 and older recorded a similar proportion at around 47%.
The bar chart illustrates the
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proportion
of Australians divided by genders
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(males
and
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females)
in six
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age
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categories
who did the daily activity of
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physical
in the year 2010.

Overall
, as can be
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seen
clearly
from the bar chart that there were
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different
fluctuations in both the rates of
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males
and
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females
among
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age
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categories
. While
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females
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aged
45 to 54 occupied the most
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proportion
of doing
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physical
activity, the lowest
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figure
was from
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categories
of
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males
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aged
35 to 44.

Regarding the youngest
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age
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category
(15-24), over 52% of
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males
in Australia exercised
regularly
within 2010
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but
the rate of
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females
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only
estimated for
nearly
48%. By contrast, the higher
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figure
shown by women at the
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age
between 25 and 34 accounted for
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just
under a half, whereas around 40% was from
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men
in the same
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category
.
Similarly
,
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females
and
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males
taking
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physical
activity
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aged
35 to 44 recorded the
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figure
of around 52% and 40%,
respectively
.

In terms of the two remaining
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age
under 65, the
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proportion
of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were over 40% on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise, and over a half from the
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figures
for
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females
was shown
.
On the other hand
,
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males
and
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females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
65 and older recorded a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
at around 47%.

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australians divided by genders (males and females) in six age categories who did the daily activity of physical in the year 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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