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The graph shows the percentage of people who use mobile phones in four situations, grouped by four age groups.

The graph shows the percentage of people who use mobile phones in four situations, grouped by four age groups. d5PEd
The provided graph illustrates the change of mobile phone usage of one country for four situations in 2015 by age group Overall, most citizens of all ages tended to use cell phones in public transportation, contrary to family dinners. Furthermore, it is uncommon for people aged 65 or over to use phones in a nutshell. The initial impression from the graph is that the percentage of those who are on their phones while using public transport and in restaurants decline consistently, as the data was highest among the youngest group (18-29) at 90%. Meanwhile, the three remaining age groups (30-49, 50-64, 65+) witnessed decreases of 80%, 50% and 20%, respectively. Conversely to this popularity, family dinner had the lowest proportion of people using mobile phones, compared to other groups, with all brackets under 15%. Furthermore, the figure for street and restaurant mobile usage represented a similar pattern. Particularly, people aged between 30 and 49 had the highest use of mobile phones with about 85% for street and 80% for the other situation, followed by 18-29 (>70%), 50-64 ( >30%) and 65+ ( approximately 10%) age groups.
The provided graph illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of mobile
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phone
usage of one country for four situations in 2015 by
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age
group

Overall
, most citizens of all
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ages
tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in public transportation, contrary to family dinners.
Furthermore
, it is uncommon for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 65 or over to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in a nutshell.

The initial impression from the graph is that the percentage of those who are on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while using public transport and in restaurants decline
consistently
, as the data was highest among the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
(18-29) at 90%. Meanwhile, the three remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
(30-49, 50-64, 65+) witnessed decreases of 80%, 50% and 20%,
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Conversely
to this popularity, family dinner had the lowest proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, with all brackets under 15%.

Furthermore
, the figure for street and restaurant mobile usage represented a similar pattern.
Particularly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged between 30 and 49 had the highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
with about 85% for street and 80% for the other situation, followed by 18-29 (>70%), 50-64
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
>30%) and 65+
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
approximately 10%)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the percentage of people who use mobile phones in four situations, grouped by four age groups.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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