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The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates the number of people visiting each of the Louvre, London Science Museum, Vatican Museums and Shenzhen Museum all known to be international Museums during the time period extending from 1980 to 2015. Overall, it can be seen that both line graphs representing the number of visitors to Louvre and Vatican Museums maintained an increasing monotone over the entire period whereas the number of people visiting the London Science decreased and for Shenzhen museum the number alternately decreased then increased. To begin with, the number of visitors to the Louvre museum was merely under 8 millions in 1980. This number increased to approximately 9 million in 1995 before falling slightly in the year 2000. However this number rose again till it attained a value merely under 10 millions in 2015. Concerning the number of visitors to the Vatican Museums, it climbed from around 5 million in 1980 till about 9 millions in 2015. On the other hand, the number of visitors to the London Museum fall from 4 million in 1980 till just above 2 million in 2015. Moreover, the number of visitors to Shenzhen Museum decreased to reach a minimum of 3 million in 2000 before increasing and reaching in 2015 a similar value to its number in 1980 which was merely under 4 million.
The graph illustrates the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting each of the Louvre, London Science
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Museum
, Vatican
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Museums
and Shenzhen
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Museum
all known to be international
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Museums
during the time period extending from 1980 to 2015.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both line graphs representing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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visitors
to Louvre and Vatican
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Museums
maintained an increasing monotone over the entire period whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting the London Science decreased and for Shenzhen
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museum
the
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number
alternately
decreased then increased.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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visitors
to the Louvre
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museum
was
merely
under 8
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millions
in 1980. This
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number
increased to approximately 9
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million
in 1995
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling
slightly
in the year 2000.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this
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number
rose again till it attained a value
merely
under 10
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millions
in 2015. Concerning the
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number
of
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visitors
to the Vatican
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Museums
, it climbed from around 5
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million
in 1980 till about 9
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millions
in 2015.

On the other hand
, the
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number
of
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visitors
to the London
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Museum
fall from 4
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million
in 1980 till
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 2
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million
in 2015.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to Shenzhen
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Museum
decreased to reach a minimum of 3
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million
in 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing and reaching in 2015 a similar value to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 1980 which was
merely
under 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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