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the graph shows the information about wages of docters , nurses , teachers in 2010 to 2015.

the graph shows the information about wages of docters, nurses, teachers in 2010 to 2015. KlQo6
The line graph compares the salaries of doctors, nurses and teachers in percentages between 2010 to 2015. Overall, it can be clearly seen that, doctor had the highest salaries in every years. While, teachers had the lowest wages. To begin with, in 2010, doctor had around 10 % wages. It dramatically inclined till after following halved decades. Which accounted to be 50 %, which was almost times higher than year in 2010. On the flip side, Nurses salary was around 2 times higher than doctors in 2010. Surprisingly, it constantly plummeted by 20 % in 2015. On the other hand, the wages of teachers had 10 times lower than salaries of doctors during 5 years, which counted at 20%.
The line graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, nurses and teachers in percentages
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2010 and 2015".
between 2010 to 2015
.
Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "year"?
years
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, teachers had the lowest wages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 2010,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
had around 10 % wages. It
dramatically
inclined till after following halved decades. Which accounted to be 50 %, which was almost times higher than year in 2010. On the flip side, Nurses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
was around 2 times higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
in 2010.
Surprisingly
, it
constantly
plummeted by 20 % in 2015.
On the other hand
, the wages of teachers had 10 times lower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
during 5 years, which counted at 20%.

IELTS academic the graph shows the information about wages of docters, nurses, teachers in 2010 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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