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The graph shows information of smoking frequency seen among athletes of parkview secondary school.

The graph shows information of smoking frequency seen among athletes of parkview secondary school. DlAMk
The pie charts describe the detail regarding the smoking patterns displayex by parkview secondary school. The data is based on students who are 15 year old and differentiated by gender. A most striking point is that the proportion of boys and girls are merely equal of daily smokers. As high as 71% boys and 68% girls are used to smoking regularly. However, the percentage of girls are 3% more than boys who prefer smoking at least once a week. So, here in particular, the girls are 21% and boys are 17%. Futhermore, there is no variation at all in the case of those who smoke less than a week, 5% each. Moreover, there is a noticeable difference of 1% between boys and girls who never smoke 7% boys and 6% girls. Overall, whereas 93% of girls are regular or occasional smokers girls overtake them in this respect with 1% more(94%) among the athletes of the mentioned school.
The pie charts
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describe
the detail regarding the smoking patterns
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displayex
by
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parkview
secondary school. The data
is based
on students
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who
are 15 year
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old
and differentiated by gender.

A most striking point is that the proportion of
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boys
and
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girls
are
merely
equal of daily smokers. As high as 71%
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boys
and 68%
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girls
are
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used
to smoking
regularly
.
However
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are 3% more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer smoking at least once a week.
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So
, here
in particular
, the
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girls
are 21% and
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boys
are 17%.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, there is no variation at all in the case of those
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who
smoke less than a week, 5% each.
Moreover
, there is a noticeable difference of 1% between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
never smoke 7%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and 6% girls.

Overall
, whereas 93% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are regular or occasional smokers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
overtake them in this respect with 1% more(94%) among the athletes of the mentioned school.
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IELTS academic The graph shows information of smoking frequency seen among athletes of parkview secondary school.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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