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The bar graph shows information on salary levels seen among men and women in Utopua.

The bar graph shows information on salary levels seen among men and women in Utopua. RNPy8
The bar chart categorizes the male and female population of Utopia into eighteen, based on their remuneration. At a glance it is seen that women in the income group of $35, 000-39, 000 number the most at 500, 000. Moreover, they are immediately followed by women in the $40, 000-44, 000 scale at a marginally lower number. In addition to it, the largest numbers among men also belong to these two categories at around 480, 000 and 470, 000, respectively. Furthermore, what is interesting to note is that, all along towards the top of the pyramid, th number of the fair sex in all income groups is greater than that of men. Almost same is the case towards the bottom of the graph, except in the cases ranging from $ 1, 000-4, 000 to $ 15, 000-19, 000, where men are found to have a slight advantage. Overall, as the income increases, the numbers of both the male and the female are found decreasing, more or less slowely and steadily. Another outstanding fact is that the lower income groups far outnumber the upper strata.
The bar chart categorizes the male and female population of Utopia into eighteen, based on their remuneration.

At a glance it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that women in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
group of $35, 000-39, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
the most at 500, 000.
Moreover
, they are immediately followed by women in the $40, 000-44, 000 scale at a
marginally
lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
In addition
to it, the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
also
belong to these two categories at around 480, 000 and 470, 000,
respectively
.

Furthermore
, what is interesting to note is that, all along towards the top of the pyramid,
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the
This expression can be considered offensive.
fair sex
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
groups is greater than that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Almost same is the case towards the bottom of the graph, except in the cases ranging from
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$1".
$ 1
, 000-4, 000 to
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$15".
$ 15
, 000-19, 000, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are found
to have a slight advantage.

Overall
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
increases, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of both the male and the female
are found
decreasing, more or less
Possible spelling mistake found.
slowely
and
steadily
. Another outstanding fact is that the lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
groups far outnumber the upper strata.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows information on salary levels seen among men and women in Utopua.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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