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The bar chart shows the information about the the number of graduate from the hct colleges men and women in 1999

The bar chart shows the information about the the number of graduate from the hct colleges men and women in 1999 jRBoN
Tab bar graph provides information about the male and female candidate are graduates from the higher colleges of the technology in five different country in year 1999. overall Dubai country is higher than the male and female graduate compared to the other four country in Abu Dhabi women and men graduate ratio is only 5%. now the other country like al ain is male graduate is approx 140 and the female graduates is 215. after that sharjah is minor difference between male and female graduates now the Ras al khaimah colleges are the boys graduated 100 and girls graduate are Rose up to 180. In conclusion that the these five different city college are compared to females graduates higher than the male graduates in United Arab Emirates
Tab bar graph provides information about the male and
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female
candidate are
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graduates
from the higher colleges of the technology in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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country
in year 1999.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
Dubai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is higher than the male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
compared to the other four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in Abu Dhabi women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
ratio is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
now
the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
al
ain is male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
is approx 140 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
is 215.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
sharjah
is minor difference between male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ras
Possible spelling mistake found.
al
Possible spelling mistake found.
khaimah
colleges are the boys graduated 100 and girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
are Rose up to 180.
In conclusion
that the these five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city college
are compared
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
higher than the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Arab Emirates".
in United Arab Emirates
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the information about the the number of graduate from the hct colleges men and women in 1999

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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