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Pei chart shows the busgdet speny by uae gvernment

Pei chart shows the busgdet speny by uae gvernment 0A1A1
The given pie chart elucidates the amount of money spent by UAE government on 10 different sectors in the year 2000 To commence with, amount spent on social security by UAE government accounted for 100 billions AED, whereas, around 20 billions AED spent on defence sector. It is notable that identical amount of budget spent on dept interest and on other expenditure which was 23 billions. Moreover, UAE government's allocation of total budget was slightly more than 50 billions on health and personal social services. An almost identical budget on law and order and on industry, agriculture and employment, UAE government spent 70 and 30 billions respectively. In addition, 9 billions AED of total budget was recorded to be spent on transport sector which was the least amount spent by UAE government on any sector. Moreover, 50 billions of budget recorded which spent on housing, heritage and environment in 2000. On education sector government pf UAE spent exact 38 billions AED.
The
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given
pie chart elucidates the
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amount
of money
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spent
by UAE
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government
on 10
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different
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sectors
in the year 2000

To commence with,
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amount
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spent
on social security by UAE
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government
accounted for 100
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billions
AED, whereas, around 20
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billions
AED
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spent
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
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sector
. It is notable that identical
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amount
of
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budget
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spent
on dept interest and on other expenditure which was 23
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billions
.
Moreover
, UAE
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government
's allocation of total
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budget
was
slightly
more than 50
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billions
on health and personal social services. An almost identical
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budget
on law and order and on industry, agriculture and employment, UAE
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government
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spent
70 and 30
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billions
respectively
.

In addition
, 9
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billions
AED of total
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budget
was recorded
to be
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spent
on transport
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sector
which was the least
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amount
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spent
by UAE
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government
on any
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sector
.
Moreover
, 50
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billions
of
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budget
recorded which
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spent
on housing, heritage and environment in 2000. On education
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sector
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government
pf UAE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
exact 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
AED.

IELTS academic Pei chart shows the busgdet speny by uae gvernment

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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