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The graph shows how employerer free time activity was passed enjoyab

The graph shows how employerer free time activity was passed enjoyab r8bJk
The graph shows how employerer free time activity was passed enjoyable at except of work in 1998-99 by sex and employement types. A glance at the graph reveals that most of people could found funny time in leisure. As is the presented diagram shows that employed people which is full time or part time not so much time as than different employement status. However, part time employed male gender had worst leisure time. by the way, full time female employerer passed time over 38 hours, part time employerer is 40 too. non-workers had more funny time than other. the possibility is too much leisure time was growth the number of graph statistic at over the 70 hours. in contrast, the housewiwes was
The graph
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shows
how
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employerer
free
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time
activity
was passed
enjoyable at except of work in 1998-99 by sex and
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
types. A glance at the graph reveals that most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
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time
in leisure.

As is the presented diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which is full
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time
or part
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time
not
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so
much
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time
as than
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different
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employement
status.
However
, part
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time
employed male gender had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
leisure
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time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
the way, full
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time
female
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employerer
passed
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time
over 38 hours, part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
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employerer
is 40 too.

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non-workers
had more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than other.
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the
possibility is too much leisure
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time
was growth the number of graph statistic at over the 70 hours.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
contrast, the
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housewiwes
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
was

IELTS academic The graph shows how employerer free time activity was passed enjoyab

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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