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The graph shows detail about the number of people hire books in Britain local library in 2009.

The graph shows detail about the number of people hire books in Britain local library in 2009. D2EmW
The bar graph provide details about the proportion of books rented in Britain local library in year 2009. Undoubtedly, the data has been calibrated in numbers. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that February, March and November display an downward tendency whereas large ratio of books rented in August and December. To began with first month of 2009 10 books are hire in January. Unfortunately, the data fell dramatically in February and accounted to 6. The proportion of March and April was 7 and 13 respectively. Surprisingly, in March and July the ratio was absolutely same. Number of books rented in June was 14 the data magnificently higher in August woth 20. In September 12 books are hiring from library. Data was fluctuated in October and November and accounted to 14 and 9. Finally, in December mostly inhabitants hired textbooks from book room the ratio was 21.
The bar graph provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rented in Britain local library in year 2009.
Undoubtedly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
has
been calibrated
in numbers.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that February, March and November display
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
downward tendency whereas large ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rented in August and December.

To began with
first
month of 2009 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are hire in January. Unfortunately, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
fell
dramatically
in February and accounted to 6. The proportion of March and April was 7 and 13
respectively
.
Surprisingly
, in March and July the ratio was
absolutely
same. Number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rented in June was 14 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
magnificently
higher in August
Possible spelling mistake found.
woth
20.

Did you mean "on September"? This seems to be a day date.
In September
12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are hiring from library.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
was fluctuated
in October and November and accounted to 14 and 9.
Finally
, in December
mostly
inhabitants hired textbooks from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
room the ratio was 21.
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IELTS academic The graph shows detail about the number of people hire books in Britain local library in 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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