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t time periods (1982 and 2012). Overall, there have been several changes, the most noticeable being extending the building with the addition of a furniture retail in the place where the lake was removed. Moreover, was opened up a parking lot and the coffee shop was demolished. One change that stands out is that there has been a significant redevelopment over the whole period. The lake to the north-west of the

t time periods (1982 and 2012). Overall, there have been several changes, the most noticeable being extending the building with the addition of a furniture retail in the place where the lake was removed. Moreover, was opened up a parking lot and the coffee shop was demolished. One change that stands out is that there has been a significant redevelopment over the whole period. The lake to the north-west of the eK9yp
The maps illustrate how Happy Valley Shopping Center have developed over two different time periods (1982 and 2012). Overall, there have been several changes, the most noticeable being extending the building with the addition of a furniture retail in the place where the lake was removed. Moreover, was opened up a parking lot and the coffee shop was demolished. One change that stands out is that there has been a significant redevelopment over the whole period. The lake to the north-west of the shopping Center was demolished and redeveloped into a furniture retail. In 1982, the food store was located in the northern part of shopping store but in 2012 was constructed in the south-eastern part. The food store was replaced with the sports store and electronics store. Another noticeable change is that the sports store and electronics store was replaced with themed restaurants, although the entertainment area, toilets and elevator are still there. Moreover the trees to the east of the store was cut down and, therefore the store was increased in size.
The maps illustrate how Happy Valley Shopping Center have developed over two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time periods (1982 and 2012).

Overall
, there have been several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the most noticeable being extending the building with the addition of a furniture retail in the place where the lake
was removed
.
Moreover
,
was opened
up a parking lot and the coffee shop
was demolished
.

One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that stands out is that there has been a significant redevelopment over the whole period. The lake to the north-west of the shopping Center
was demolished
and redeveloped into a furniture retail. In 1982, the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
was located
in the northern part of shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2012
was constructed
in the south-eastern part. The food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
was replaced
with the sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and electronics store.

Another noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is that the sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and electronics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
was replaced
with themed restaurants, although the entertainment area, toilets and elevator are
still
there.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the trees to the east of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down and,
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
was increased
in size.
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IELTS academic t time periods (1982 and 2012). Overall, there have been several changes, the most noticeable being extending the building with the addition of a furniture retail in the place where the lake was removed. Moreover, was opened up a parking lot and the coffee shop was demolished. One change that stands out is that there has been a significant redevelopment over the whole period. The lake to the north-west of the

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • t time periods (1982 and 2012). Overall, there have been several changes, the most noticeable being extending the building with the addition of a furniture retail in the place where the lake was removed. Moreover, was opened up a parking lot and the coffee shop was demolished. One change that stands out is that there has been a significant redevelopment over the whole period. The lake to the north-west of the