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two charts given about export of a country. One table shows percentage change in values 2015- 2016

two charts given about export of a country. One table shows percentage change in values 2015- 2016 5bQAV
The given chart and table illustrates export value of 5 different category, along with percentage, of a country in the year 2015 and 2016. The data shows 5 different category of export items (petroleum products, Engineered goods, Gems and jewellery, agricultural products and textiles ) in billions. Overall except gems and jewellery all the other items have seen increase in export percentage in 2016 compared to 2015. The minimum difference is in agricultural product category and major positive change in export percentage is evident in textiles that is 15. 24% up in 2016. Engineered goods rose up to 8. 5% which is not huge but can be considered significant. However when we see at petroleum products it need more attention if this country wants to increase the export values. It bags second last position in least performing category after agricultural products.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart and table illustrates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
value of 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'category' seems to be countable, so consider using: "categories".
category
, along with percentage, of a country in the year 2015 and 2016. The data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'category' seems to be countable, so consider using: "categories".
category
of
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export
items (petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, Engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, Gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and textiles
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
in billions.

Overall
except gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
all the other items have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
percentage in 2016 compared to 2015. The minimum difference is in agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
and major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
percentage is evident in textiles
that is
15. 24% up in 2016.

Engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
rose up to 8. 5% which is not huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
be considered
significant.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
at petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
it
Did you mean "needs"?
need
more attention if this country wants to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
values. It bags second last position in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
after agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS academic two charts given about export of a country. One table shows percentage change in values 2015- 2016

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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