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The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001.

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001. 3KGd
This diagram illustrates the age category of children of the youthful population between 1990 and 2001 in the United kingdom measured in percentage units. Overall, we can see that the age group of 15-19 year olds in 1990 was the highest out of all the other age groups. In contrast, the age group between 10-14 was the lowest. Moreover, in 2001 ages 10-14 peaked the highest between all groups. While ages 0-4 peaked the lowest. To start off, in 1990 age group 15-19 was the most populated group of children with aove 26 percent of them. However, from 1991 to 2001, this age group started to drop in percentages gradually going from 26 percent in 1990 to almost 23% in 1994, but raised gradually in 2001 to 25%. Nevertheless, children aged 10-14 were the least populated group in 1991 as they were only 23% of them in comparison to other types of groups, however in 2001 we can see that this group category has increased dramatically reaching up to 28 percent which shows it had a great increase over time. Turning on to the other groups, ages 0-4 peaked its highest in 1992 over 28% percent which is overall the highest point reached in this chart. In contrast, the percentage of ages 0-4 started to increase steadily after reaching its peak until it reached nearly 25% in 2001. Furthermore, category 15-19 remains one of the most stable population from 1990 to 2001 as few changes has happened to the population as it reached above 24% and gradually went up to 25%.
This diagram illustrates the
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age
category of children of the youthful population between 1990 and 2001 in the
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
measured in percentage units.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 15-19 year olds in 1990 was the highest out of all the other
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age
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groups
.
In contrast
, the
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age
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group
between 10-14 was the lowest.
Moreover
, in 2001
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ages
10-14 peaked the highest between all
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groups
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
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ages
0-4 peaked the lowest.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, in 1990
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age
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group
15-19 was the most populated
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group
of children with
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aove
26
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percent
of them.
However
, from 1991 to 2001, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to drop in percentages
gradually
going from 26
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percent
in 1990 to almost 23% in 1994,
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but
raised
gradually
in 2001 to 25%.
Nevertheless
, children aged 10-14 were the least populated
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group
in 1991 as they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
23% of them
in comparison
to other types of
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groups
,
however
in 2001 we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this
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group
category has increased
dramatically
reaching up to 28
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percent
which
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shows
it had a great increase over time.

Turning on to the other
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groups
,
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ages
0-4 peaked its highest in 1992 over 28%
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percent
which is
overall
the highest point reached in this chart.
In contrast
, the percentage of
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ages
0-4
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase
steadily
after reaching its peak until it reached
nearly
25% in 2001.
Furthermore
, category 15-19 remains one of the most stable population from 1990 to 2001 as few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
has happened to the population as it reached above 24% and
gradually
went up to 25%.

IELTS academic The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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