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the graph show the number of people who got DVC, cancer, diabetes from 2007 to 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph show the number of people who got DVC, cancer, diabetes from 2007 to 2011. pepj2
The line graph illustrates the number of people suffering from different chronic non-spreadable diseases in a nation during the period from 2007 to 2011. Overall, there was an increase in the number of cases of CVD in a country, while a constant decline was seen in this nation's people diabetes. In addition, the number of people suffering from cancer is almost slight rise. In 2007, the number of people who suffer from CVD was the highest roughly 3, 500 cases, after which it saw a significant rise and reached a peak at 5000 cases in 2010. However, in the last year of the period, it constantly declined to 1000 cases. In addition, while the count of the diabetes started at nearly 1000 patients, in 2009 the number of people of diabetes cases rocket at 4000, followed by a sharp drop to just above 1000 cases in the last two years. In 2010, the number of people experiencing cancer was over 2100 patients, an increase of more than 1000 patients compared to 2007. While the count of the cancer patient gradually went up till 2011 just over 2000 patients.
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
chronic non-spreadable diseases in a nation during the period from 2007 to 2011.

Overall
, there was an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases of CVD in a country, while a constant decline was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in this nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
diabetes.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from cancer is almost slight rise.

In 2007, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from CVD was the highest roughly 3, 500 cases, after which it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant rise and reached a peak at 5000 cases in 2010.
However
, in the last year of the period, it
constantly
declined to 1000 cases.
In addition
, while the count of the diabetes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
nearly
1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
, in 2009 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of diabetes cases rocket at 4000, followed by a sharp drop to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 1000 cases in the last two years.

In 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experiencing cancer was over 2100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
, an increase of more than 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
compared to 2007.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the count of the cancer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
gradually
went up till 2011
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
.
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IELTS academic the graph show the number of people who got DVC, cancer, diabetes from 2007 to 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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