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health care systems of three Europe nations

health care systems of three Europe nations a7reo
The given table elaborates on the data on health care systems of three Europe nations, namely Austria, France and Sweden from 1980 and 2000. Overall, whilst most hospital beds among these countries increased consistently, the average stay declined gradually. Additionally, their number of doctors per 1000 people varied. Despite a slight decline in Sweden in 1990, both Austrian and Swiss doctors per 1000 people experienced an upward trend. Starting at 0. 8 and 3. 6 in 1980, the numbers climbed to 1. 0 and 3. 8 respectively in 2000. Conversely, the figure for France followed an opposite trend, reducing from 2. 4 in 1980 to 1. 3 in 2000. Regarding hospital beds, a rise was observed. Swiss hospitals had the highest beds per 1000 people, with 6. 4 in 1980 and went up slightly to 6. 9 in 2000. In contrast, though having less hospital beds per 1000 people, Austria and France saw a drastic increase, from 1. 4 and 0. 2 in 1980 to 3. 7 and 1. 6 in 2000 respectively. Dissimilarly, the average stay decreased consistently. The days went down by 2 days, from 23 in 1980 to 21 in 2000 whereas the days in France declined from 9 in 1980 to 5 in 2000. The average stays plunged/ plummeted in Austria, from 18 to 8 days.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table elaborates on the data on health care systems of three Europe nations,
namely
Austria, France and Sweden
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1980 to 2000"?
from 1980 and 2000
.

Overall
, whilst most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
among these countries increased
consistently
, the average stay declined
gradually
.
Additionally
, their number of doctors per 1000
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people
varied.

Despite a slight decline in Sweden in 1990, both Austrian and Swiss doctors per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experienced an upward trend. Starting at 0. 8 and 3. 6 in 1980, the numbers climbed to 1. 0 and 3. 8
respectively
in 2000.
Conversely
, the figure for France followed an opposite trend, reducing from 2. 4 in 1980 to 1. 3 in 2000.

Regarding
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hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
, a rise
was observed
. Swiss
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hospitals
had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, with 6. 4 in 1980 and went up
slightly
to 6. 9 in 2000.
In contrast
, though having less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, Austria and France
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a drastic increase, from 1. 4 and 0. 2 in 1980 to 3. 7 and 1. 6 in 2000
respectively
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Dissimilarly
, the average stay decreased
consistently
. The days went down by 2 days, from 23 in 1980 to 21 in 2000 whereas the days in France declined from 9 in 1980 to 5 in 2000. The average stays plunged/ plummeted in Austria, from 18 to 8 days.
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IELTS academic health care systems of three Europe nations

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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