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Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effects

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effects N3beW
Many people think that the new lifestyle is giving disadvantages to families. I totally agree with this idea for many reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs until the conclusion is reached. The first main reason why I believe is that nowadays everyone is busy with their own business, not only in the real world, but also on social media. For example, Tiktok, Facebook, and Instagram. As a consequence of this, it makes people start to care less about their family and give their family less time. The second reason is that people start to have more and more responsibility. To illustrate, work and study. This makes individuals spend their time more on those jobs which as a result the drop of the family relationship. To sum up, the present condition of how people live their lives is very effective when talking about individuals, however when talking about the group of relatives like family, it is not effective enough.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the new lifestyle is giving disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs until the conclusion
is reached
.

The
first
main reason why I believe is that nowadays everyone is busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the real world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on social media.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
, Facebook, and Instagram. As a consequence of this, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to care less about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
less time.

The second reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to have more and more responsibility. To illustrate, work and study. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals spend their time more on those jobs which
as a result
the drop of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.

To sum up, the present condition of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective when talking about individuals,
however
when talking about the group of relatives like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it is not effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
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IELTS academic Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effects

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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