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the graph show how obesity levels have increased in England since 1994. Clearly, figures have doubled over this period, reaching a correct high of around 30 per cent forboth male and female adults.

the graph show how obesity levels have increased in England since 1994. Clearly, figures have doubled over this period, reaching a correct high of around 30 per cent forboth male and female adults. JlBg5
The graph shows how obesity levels have increased in England since 1994. Clearly, figures have doubled over this period, reaching a correct high of around 30 percent for both male and female adults. Regarding the graph, we can see that the percentage of adults suffering from obesity both male and female saw a gradual increase since 1994 till now/ Starting at just 14 percent of male and 17 of female, the figures of both saw a consistent increase. Then the figure for males saw a considerable rise to 21 percent, while the figure for females remained stable between 1998 and 2000. Next, the figure of the male was having stabilized, when the figure of female rose significantly to around 23 percent in 2001. After a slight fall of females' percentage and increasing gradually of males' percentage, the figures equaled in 2004. With the respect to the graph, we noticed a fluctuating going up in the figure of male and a gradual surge in 2006 figure of female to just under 30 in the same year. Consequently, both male and female figures have equaled at 30 percent of obesity level for both male and female adults in England in the present.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how obesity levels have increased in England since 1994.
Clearly
,
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figures
have doubled over this period, reaching a correct high of around 30
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percent
for both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
adults. Regarding the graph, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the percentage of adults suffering from obesity both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual increase since 1994 till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
/ Starting at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of male and 17 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a consistent increase. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a considerable rise to 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
remained stable between 1998 and 2000.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of the male was having stabilized, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
rose
significantly
to around 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2001. After a slight fall of females' percentage and increasing
gradually
of males' percentage, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
equaled in 2004. With the respect to the graph, we noticed a fluctuating going up in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of male and a gradual surge in 2006
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 30 in the same year.
Consequently
, both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
have equaled at 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of obesity level for both male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
adults in England in the present.

IELTS academic the graph show how obesity levels have increased in England since 1994. Clearly, figures have doubled over this period, reaching a correct high of around 30 per cent forboth male and female adults.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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