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EMPLOYMENT SECTORS GRADUATES FROM BRIGHTON UNIVERSITY IN 2019

EMPLOYMENT SECTORS GRADUATES FROM BRIGHTON UNIVERSITY IN 2019 WmdLk
From the chart above, you can see the percentage of students who have chosen the profession and job after graduation. It can be seen that industry and government are the two most chosen majors by students. With nearly half of students choosing to enter industry, along with service industries attracting more students to study at this university. Next is the education sector. Education is an industry that requires investment in mind and human resources, this major has attracted about 14. 7% of students to participate so that we will have enough teachers for schools. Besides that, politics and government is also an option. Of many students with about 12. 1%. To reduce traffic congestion and protect our environment, today transportation and warehouse industry is the choice of many students after graduation. The industry does not require you to be good at theory, but it is mostly about skills. With the improvement of technology, nowadays science and technology industry is increasingly attracting young people by exploring and learning about everything around them, accounting for 7. 3% of the students. Today civil service is not so popular when many countries are at peace but still accounts for an amazing number of students: 5. 6%. If most people choose to work for the government, some people choose to work for the government, then some people choose to do charities and sports. Although with a little amount people choose these jobs, it is still increasing through years. With the dream of helping more children go to school and have a life like their peers, charity work is spreading more and more - especially during the difficult COVID-19 period.
From the chart above, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have chosen the profession and job after graduation. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are the two most chosen majors by students.

With
nearly
half of
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students
choosing to enter
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industry
, along with service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
attracting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study at this university.
Next
is the education sector. Education is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
that requires investment in mind and human resources, this major has attracted about 14. 7% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to participate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
teachers for schools.
Besides
that, politics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
also
an option. Of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with about 12. 1%.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic congestion and protect our environment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
transportation and warehouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is the choice of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after graduation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
does not require you to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at theory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
mostly
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. With the improvement of technology, nowadays science and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is
increasingly
attracting young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by exploring and learning about everything around them, accounting for 7. 3% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
civil service is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are at peace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
accounts for an amazing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
: 5. 6%.

If most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to work for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to work for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to do charities and sports. Although with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
these jobs, it is
still
increasing through years. With the dream of helping more children go to school and have a life like their peers, charity work is spreading more and more
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
especially
during the difficult COVID-19 period.
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IELTS academic EMPLOYMENT SECTORS GRADUATES FROM BRIGHTON UNIVERSITY IN 2019

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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