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The chart shows the percentgae of total water use

The chart shows the percentgae of total water use WmkOb
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of total water consumption by five factors during the ten years from 1997 to 2007. Overall, in both years, the amount of water used in the food industry and building industry respectively accounted for the highest and the lowest percentage among the five factors. As can be seen from the chart, the food industry saw a slight decline of 7%, from 48% in 1997 to 41% in 2007. Then, the manufacturing and building industry also witnessed a small decline in the percentage of total water usage. In the period between 1997 and 2007, water usage decreased by 4% in manufacturing and 3% in the building industry. By contrast, the service industry and household sectors dramatically expanded their water usage in 2007. Within 1997 and 2007, the service industry increased significantly from 13% to 25%. At the same time, the figures for household activities rose moderately from 19% to 21%.
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption by five factors during the ten years from 1997 to 2007.
Overall
, in both years, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the food
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industry
and building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
respectively
accounted for the highest and the lowest percentage among the five factors.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight decline of 7%, from 48% in 1997 to 41% in 2007. Then, the manufacturing and building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
also
witnessed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
decline in the percentage of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage. In the period between 1997 and 2007,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage decreased by 4% in manufacturing and 3% in the building industry.

By contrast, the service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and household sectors
dramatically
expanded their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage in 2007. Within 1997 and 2007, the service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
increased
significantly
from 13% to 25%. At the same time, the figures for household activities rose
moderately
from 19% to 21%.

IELTS academic The chart shows the percentgae of total water use

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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