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The graph illustrates about the change in birth rate and death rate in new zealand between 1901 and 2004

The graph illustrates about the change in birth rate and death rate in new zealand between 1901 and 2004 8xD9l
The graph annotates about The variation in birth and mortality rate in New Zealand from 19 012 to 101. Overall, it is noticeable that the birthrate is more than the death rate. However, it is predicted that the Trend would be reversed after the 2021 and the mortality rate is slightly increase then birth rate. The births In 1901 was about 20, 000s And after having a little downward trend in 1921 the birthrate incline to 25, 000s. Whereas, the birthrate Reach To its pinnacle point at 65, 000sIn 1951. In year 1981, the birthrate drop down to 50, 000 while it again do medically grew up by 10, 000 in 2001. It is recorded that birth rate will be gently decreased by 40, 000 in 2101. In contrast, the mortality rate was 10, 000 less than birthrate in 1901. WHLIST, a fluctuation 10 seen in next five subsequent Decades and the death rate gradually surge up about 30, 000. Similarly, it is observed that mortality rate will be reduced to its zenith at 60000s in 2041 and level of till 2101.
The graph annotates about The variation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in New Zealand from 19 012 to 101.

Overall
, it is noticeable that the birthrate is more than the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
However
, it
is predicted
that the Trend would
be reversed
after the 2021 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is
slightly
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
rate.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
In 1901
You should probably use: "were".
was
about 20, 000s And after having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
downward trend in 1921 the birthrate incline to 25, 000s. Whereas, the birthrate Reach To its pinnacle point at 65, 000sIn 1951. In year 1981, the birthrate
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drop".
drop down
to 50, 000 while it again do
medically
grew up by 10, 000 in 2001. It
is recorded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will be
gently
decreased by 40, 000 in 2101.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was 10, 000 less than birthrate in 1901.
Possible spelling mistake found.
WHLIST
, a fluctuation 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
next
five subsequent Decades and the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
gradually
surge up about 30, 000.
Similarly
, it
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to its zenith at 60000s in 2041 and level of till 2101.
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IELTS academic The graph illustrates about the change in birth rate and death rate in new zealand between 1901 and 2004

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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