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the energy consumption in usa

the energy consumption in usa BY0Bw
The line graph compares the amount of energy consumed in the USA using six different sources of fuel from 1980 to 2030. It is clear that petrol and oil are the most important means of consumption of energy over the period shown. Hydropower provided the lowest amount of energy in most of the years. In 1980, petrol and oil were the main source of energy in USA, consuming at 35 quadrillion units. Coal and natural gas consume around 18 quadrillion units each. Nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower were all consumed around 4 quadrillion units. Until the projection of 2030, energy consumption from petrol and oil rose dramatically to a peak of 50 quadrillion units. Coal and natural gas were consumed same units in 1985. Nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower all maintained constant, at between 4 to 8 quadrillion units, for the whole period. In summary, petrol and oil power are the main source of energy. Hydropower consume the least amount.
The line graph compares the amount of
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energy
consumed in the USA using six
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different
sources of fuel from 1980 to 2030.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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petrol
and
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oil
are the most
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important
means of consumption of
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energy
over the period shown. Hydropower provided the lowest amount of
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energy
in most of the years.

In 1980,
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petrol
and
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oil
were the main source of
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energy
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, consuming at 35 quadrillion
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units
. Coal and natural gas consume around 18 quadrillion
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units
each. Nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower were all consumed around 4 quadrillion units.

Until the projection of 2030,
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energy
consumption from
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petrol
and
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oil
rose
dramatically
to a peak of 50 quadrillion
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units
. Coal and natural gas
were consumed
same
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units
in 1985. Nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower all maintained constant, at
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 4 and 8".
between 4 to 8
quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
, for the whole period.

In summary,
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petrol
and
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oil
power are the main source of
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energy
. Hydropower
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "consumes".
consume
the least amount.
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IELTS academic the energy consumption in usa

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
158 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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